A dear friend of mine let me know that she was missing hearing as much about my scripture insights and life stories that I document in books for my children. As I explained to her why my schedule has not allowed me to devote as much time to writing my experiences down, she then reminded me that what I had just explained to her - was definitely something that I should write down, as I learned from the experience and likely others and my children can as well. She was right. Thank you Kristy Hall :)
While Jeffrey my sweet Home Health Patient was in the hospital this winter - we all thought it was the end for him, since his Brain Cancer has spread to the point of complete paralysis on the right side of his body. I was asked to take on another client/patient while Jeffrey was in the hospital and soon to pass.
I had learned so much from taking care of Jeffrey, and this time it was a woman in need. I had hopes to be able to share the gospel in any small way with another dying soul- so I agreed.
Miraculously, Jeffrey was sent home on Hospice and I have become so close to him and his wife that I am now able to pray with him each morning before I feed him through the feeding tube. It has been wonderful to see the power of prayer work in his life and mine as the transfers from bed to chair have become much easier with a prayer and faith.
Susan was my new patient that I was to see once a week - all day.
Things were hard with Susan at first. My hopes to share the gospel when feeling prompted and allowed by the Spirit, were going no-where as it seemed that to her - everything that I did was wrong, and not only was everything I did all wrong, but so was everything that everyone else did all wrong in her life.
I decided I just needed to provide service to her in whatever way she needed even if it seemed silly to me that her medical needs and care included color coordinating the socks in her dresser drawer as struggled to breath many times a day.
The day that I was able to share with Susan what church that I went to was a great day for me, and I was very thankful to know that Susan had had good experiences with LDS individuals and that she took my testimony sharing well, with out the negative spirit that was most often always felt.
Weeks went on, and things didn't improve too much with Susan, but....
Suddenly no one except me wanted to work with Susan, and although I could not give her more time, she was happy with what I could give her.
Suddenly Susan began texting me even on the days that I did not work with her.
She started telling me how she was feeling, like everyone was ignoring how ill that she really was, and that her family was not there for her, but that she was thankful that she at least knew she could talk to me, and I would help her get through it....
Three days before Susan suddenly passed away she told me that, " My parents had raised me right, and that I was her Hero."
Although this was so nice to hear that I was helping Susan feel happier, I felt so sad that she didn't have the family that she needed at this time in her life.
I received a call that Susan was in the hospital dying from my Home Health Company and it had been only one day since I last heard from Susan.
I rushed to the hospital to find Susan's daughter in great great tears and she hugged me and told me, " I have been putting my priorities in the wrong place."
I told her how much her Mom talked about her, and loved her.
Susan was incoherent by the time that I reached the hospital.
I was heart broken for Susan's daughter to experience this. I had told Susan many times that I loved her, even in the very moment that she insulted me, I told her that I loved her... and I meant it....
I had told Susan that I would get a bad grade on a paper if she needed me, just to let me know because she was more important than a grade.
Her daughter however had not done these things.
The reason this is part of what I learned and desired to share was because of this....
I felt the very most sad for this daughter who felt that she disrespected her Mother even to the end of her life....
But, the Lord taught me and gave me a tender mercy that I now share with Susan's daughter.
As I was praying about this daughter I was reminded of something I had learned and read in the Old Testament Student Manual -
It explains that anytime that a child chooses the right, that is truly the definition of honoring your Father and Mother.
I realized in that moment that the Savior's Atonement and Grace would also fix this hard experience for Susan's daughter - because Susan surely would be looking down and seeing her daughter honor her name in her choices. She has the chance to show her Mother just how much she loves her as she chooses to do what it right in order to bless her Mother's name.
This lesson that I learned also came timely with Mother's Day so close because Brooke asked me why we don't talk about our Heavenly Mother? I was able to explain that we do show Her that we love Her through our good choices and that when we love our Father, we also love Her, because they are "One". ( John 17)
So Brooke and Will,
When I someday pass, please do not worry that you can't show me love in the way that you would like to do so - only remember that it will be your faithfulness to Christ's Restored Church through the Prophet Joseph Smith that will be showering your love for me daily. Only remember that each time that you hang onto the promises that you have made in the Holy Temple, you will be honoring my name, and know that your good choices will still be making me very happy. I will watch as you serve in callings, read the scriptures, and pray with all your hearts - out loud - like I taught you.
I continue to be very thankful for the experiences that the Lord has allowed me to have as I was prompted to care for the ill by Him. I am eternally thankful that I am given the chance to love and care for His children when others can not yet do so.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
" Anytime that a child lives righteously he brings honor to his parents, whether those parents are themselves righteous or wicked." ( Old Testament Student Manual )